ARTICLES

Helping Kids Transition to Removal

Moving, whether out-of-state or in-state, can be a disruptive experience for children because so many changes take place. Don't bring up the subject with them without first talking with your lawyer. For kids who have no control in the post-decree process, the possibility that a move MIGHT happen can be more stressful than knowing with certainty that a move WILL happen. Leave them out of it until you have a very good idea from your attorney about what to do and how to proceed. If you've already successfully obtained permission to move, here are some suggestions on how to help kids cope with the stress and change that comes with relocation:

1. Tell them why you are moving. Tell them early.
2. Have a discussion and talk with them about what they will be sad about leaving and what they may be looking forward to at the new location and ask them what they'd like to know about the new location.
3. Plan a party to say goodbye to friends and develop a way to stay in touch.
4. Prepare a calendar that explains to them what will happen in what order to accomplish the move.
5. Read stories about moving.
6. If you can, take the children to the new locale and show them where their new school is (and, meet their new teacher / class), the local parks and playgrounds, and other areas of interest. If you can't take the kids along, bring back photos or video to show them.
7. When packing, pack the kids' things last – so they're unpacked first.
8. Spend lots of time with the kids after your arrival. Explore the new neighborhood so they won't be worried about getting lost, help them plan their first day at the new school (what to wear, what to take, class schedules, etc.).
9. Listen to their concern – a problem defined is half solved.

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