Just because you're talking with a divorce lawyer, don't lock yourself into the conclusion that you need a divorce. Many would-be divorcees discover that investing in therapy or counseling – instead of a divorce lawyer – will save their marriage. Conscientious and confident divorce attorneys regularly refer prospective clients to therapists, marriage counselors, clergy, financial advisors, and the like, if there is any possibility of saving the marriage. In some cases, a simple post-nuptial agreement that realigns responsibilities and defines financial limits and obligations will resolve the stress that, left untreated, would have destroyed the marriage.
Experienced divorce attorneys watch for signs that reconciliation may be a possibility. They broach the subject when appropriate – knowing that sometimes clients may be too embarrassed to ask their lawyer about reconciliation.
Even if your divorce is in court – instead of outside the system with a mediator or a collaborative divorce attorney – most court systems will put a case on hold for up to several years to afford a couple the time and freedom to explore reconciliation. If you're in the midst of a divorce but think reconciliation may be a possibility, talk with your lawyer or mediator and let them know your concerns. In Illinois, the judge has the power to order a “conciliation conference” and also counseling in cases where reconciliation might be a possibility.1